Brandon's Buzz

“I love [Adele], because she’s like, ‘I do music.’ And I feel like that mentality got lost in, like, ‘Look what I’m wearing, look how crazy I can be!’ She plays her cards perfectly, I think. That’s what music is, right? Just write a song. Write the world’s favorite song. There’s a piano, give me the microphone, thank you, good night.”

— Grammy-winning superstar Bruno Mars, expressing admiration for his fellow award poacher Adele to Entertainment Weekly‘s Leah Greenblatt.

”I loved [season] finales as a kid. Knots Landing had the best finales. So I really put my heart and soul into [mine] and try to make them special because I know that’s what I want to see as a viewer.”

— The Following creator Kevin Williamson, speaking to Entertainment Weekly about the climactic final installment of his cat-and-mouse drama’s intense first season, which airs tonight on Fox. (The above quote doesn’t really have anything to do with anything, except that I’ve had Knots on the brain lately — perhaps you can blame the conversation I just recorded for Brandon’s Buzz Radio with its legendary star Joan Van Ark, which I’ll be posting directly — and, seeing as how that show never really got the respect it so richly deserved during its original run throughout the ’80s and early ’90s, I always get a peculiar thrill out of spotting any of today’s brilliant showrunners daring to reference Knots as an inspiration for their own work. After all, their more muted, character-driven cliffhangers were often overshadowed — at least in terms of cultural interest and impact — by the flashier season-ending antics displayed by Dallas and Dynasty back in the day, but I for one strongly doubt I’ll ever see another finale as compelling as Knots‘ 1987 outing — the infamous “crack in the cement” event, which TV Guide‘s ace critic Matt Roush just this morning named as one of the 60 greatest closing episodes in television history — or its 1988 effort, a taut and terrifying two-person teleplay starring the dynamite Teri Austin as a completely deranged hellcat hell-bent on murdering her romantic rival — the aforementioned Ms. Van Ark — and making it look like suicide. Good luck trying to top either of those episodes, Kevin, and thanks for bringing back some fun memories, kind sir.)

“I’m a country fan now. My friends from New York are like, ‘What the fuck are you listening to?’ And I’m like, ‘It’s Miranda Lambert! You need to get into it, people!'”

— Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow, explaining to Entertainment Weekly how she prepared for her role in the upcoming film Country Strong (due December 22), in which — shades of Crazy Heart? — Paltrow portrays a down-on-her-luck Nashville songbird looking for lightning to strike twice.

It pleases me no end to announce the second annual Brandon’s Buzz / Academy Awards live blog event, which begins Sunday evening (March 7) at 8pm EST (that’s 5pm for you folks in Calla-forny) with coverage of ABC’s official pre-show festivities. I’m working late tomorrow evening, so A and Sherry Ann will be holding down the fort until I get home, but since they’re the funniest people I know, I assure you that you couldn’t be in better hands. Be there or be square.

Recent additions to the flair board:  a pair of buttons memorializing one of the all-time great singer/songwriters, David Gray; a pair of buttons to commemorate the sterling return to form for “Friday Night Lights,” which has opened season three with a brilliant bang; and a pair of buttons eulogizing Aaron Sorkin’s two noble television failures, “Sports Night” and “Studio 60.”

A yelled at me in a tersely-worded email this morning about the fact that I haven’t displayed my flair board in over a week.  So, without further ado, the recent additions:  down in the southeast corner, buttons for good ol’ numbers 11 and 18 (my two favorite quarterbacks ever); one hell of a triumvirate of female songwriters — Joni, Annie, and Patty, no last names needed — makes a (forgive me, belated) flair debut; a special button for my buddy Cris Collinsworth, whose sarcastic, brilliantly tossed asides singlehandedly make NBC’s NFL highlights show “Football Night in America” worth watching; and, finally, a painfully gorgeous heart.  (If you can’t tell what it’s made of, I’ll give you two hints:  it’s the finest portable music device ever invented, and it rhymes with “hi-Flod.”)

More handmade buttons on tap for today, with shots of A’s favorite Austin skyscraper, of a California sunset I was privileged to witness a few summers back, and of one of my favorite places to eat in the city (love the penne and meatballs!).  Oh, and also, of some cute guy I happen to know fairly well.  (He’s almost certainly gonna kill me for that one!)  Also:  another Tori button (one just wasn’t gettin’ it), and one of King George — a real one, this time.

The flair board is slowly but surely filling itself in.  Latest additions:  a quartet of buttons I constructed with my own ingenuity — three of them featuring my all-time favorite soap actress Laura Wright (who became a star on “Guiding Light” and is now setting Port Chuckles on fire over at “General Hospital”), and one of them, a brilliant rendition of my beloved Stop the Insanity-era Susan Powter; buttons for two of my all-time favorite television personalities (Judge Judy and Tom Snyder) and films (The Silence of the Lambs and Dancer, Texas, Pop. 81); a tribute to Tetris, the greatest video game in the history of home entertainment, and to Rent, which just exited the Great White Way after a historic twelve year run; a gorgeously stylized shot of fingers tickling the ivories (I’ve always had this thing for piano players; sue me); the lovely Miss Bonnie Tyler (just looking at that photo makes me want to scream in my finest rasp, “You’re such a pretty boy / lemme tell you what to do / and you’ll do it!” ); a hilarious button which offers optimistic hope for the future**; and finally, the patented Buzz button, whose creator won’t rest until he sees it front and center on every last Facebook corkboard.

** “I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.”

Thanks to a terrifying burst of ingenuity this fine morning, I’m pleased to announce that the Buzz has hit the big time.  May I present to you:  the official Brandon’s Buzz piece of flair.

Log on to Facebook, open the Flair application, type “Brandon’s Buzz” in the search box, and the above image is what pops up.  Is this a magnificent crunchy or what?!

And now, a pieces of flair update:  new buttons for one of my favorite movies (the mind-numbingly hysterical Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion), novels (I Know This Much is True, which was Buzzed about here), and singers (Tori Tori, hallelujah); a sly, sweet nod to one of George Michael’s finest fashion statements; courtesy of my pal Chip, a rant on gay marriage; a button immortalizing one the great song lyrics of all time; and finally, in the southeast corner of the board, what could well the Buzz’s new mission statement.

Since I can’t find one of these bulletin board set-ups for blogs, I’ve decided to just import my Facebook board daily, so that we can all track the progress.

Today’s additions: a button saluting the late, great “Santa Barbara”; a Brian and Justin button (at the prom, no less!); and a button which prescribes one profoundly simple way to make the whole of television better.

(In case you can’t read that bottom one, it says: “I wish Aaron wrote all the shows on television.” God love the mad genius who created that piece of flair!)

So, I spent a goodly portion of the day on Facebook chatting with a couple of high school friends of mine, and while I was there, I stopped over to check in with my buddy Chip, who was my very first Facebook friend. After writing on his “Wall,” a strange, mesmerizing application on his page entitled “Pieces of Flair” hijacked my attention. If you’re a Facebook newbie, I’ll try my best to describe this application: you get a blank brown square that uncannily resembles a bulletin board, and on this board, you get the opportunity to attach “buttons.” There are literally millions of buttons to choose from, which contain all manner of pictures, sayings, and images.  (There are buttons for EVERYTHING, I’m telling you!  So far, my board has buttons for “Designing Women” and Catherine and Vincent, as well as a humorous one about the staggering price of gasoline, and a sweet one with two hands joining to form the shape of a heart.  But there are buttons for George Michael, Tori Amos, “Friday Night Lights,” and EVERYTHING else you can think of!  (Even “One Tree Hill” buttons, Sherry Ann!)  And, you can upload photos and create your own buttons!)

Below:  a sample board, filled:

And, what mine looks like as of an hour ago (note — Facebook has this dopey rule that you can only acquire three buttons per twenty-four hours; I guess that’s so obsessive-compulsive freaks like me won’t burn up a whole frickin’ day filling up bulletin boards!):

Basically, I find this to be the most breathtakingly brilliant idea I’ve ever seen — I kid you not, there are buttons for EVERYTHING!! — and I’m currently combing the ‘net looking for a non-Facebook-related facsimile of this concept that I can adapt for the Buzz.  I swear to Jesus, if I ever find one (or figure out a way to build one!), I will fill this damned site with my bulletin board.

If anyone out there knows where I can find this (paging you, Mike!), please don’t hesitate to hit me up.  Please.  In this instance (and for this slice of chilling genius), I’m not above groveling.