Brandon's Buzz

“I’m okay, though. Trust me.”

— openly gay MSNBC newsman Thomas Roberts on Monday’s Morning Joe in the LMAO moment of the day, responding off-the-cuff to an earlier news story — which the clearly amused host Joe Scarborough continued to make light of for the remainder of the show — in which actor Michael Douglas apparently revealed to the UK’s Guardian that his recent and devastating bout with throat cancer was incited by a virus he contracted by performing oral sex on his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones. (By the by, Joe’s response to the above comment, once his hearty belly laugh subsided: “Yeah, he’s the only one on this set not sweating right now! Sittin’ pretty, are ya?” PS: The wickedly funny playback of this madcap exchange can be seen here.)

“See, that’s already startin’ to look mighty fine. There’s
no way you can mess up if you start with three cups of sugar
and two sticks of butter, y’all!”

— famed television chef Paula Deen, evidently pleased as punch at how her Mississippi Mud Cake recipe is coming to fruition, on her weekly cooking series Paula’s Best Dishes

“We could get him to love everything that we love if they would do a night for it on Glee!”

— Sherry Ann, ever the sage, reacting to the staggering news that A bought nine out of the ten tunes from the Buzz’s recent Madonna playlist.

“It was the four monstrous actors at the core of it.”

— former “Dawson’s Creek” showrunner Tom Kapinos, bluntly (and rather harshly!) answering a question about what made his time on the iconic WB show so difficult, during an Emmy screening panel for his current series, “Californication.”

Was not watching those nauseatingly arrogant San Diego Chargers get their ridiculous asses handed to them this evening by the Pittsburgh Steelers just brilliantly divine justice?

“God wants her to go the hell back to Alaska and fall off a glacier or somethin’.”

— me, commenting to A on Sarah Palin’s declaration that she’s praying to God to show her the way to her political future.  (Palin’s exact quote — trust me, you can’t make up stuff this rich!:  “I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is.  Even if it’s cracked up a little bit, maybe I’ll plow right on through that and maybe prematurely plow through it, but don’t let me miss an open door.  And if there is an open door in ’12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I’ll plow through that door.”)