Brandon's Buzz

Upon reading the Buzz’s inaugural post, A’s first question: “Yeah… but when are you gonna tell us about you?”

So, me.

NAME: Brandon (Like you couldn’t guess that from this blog’s title!)

AGE: 31

DATE OF BIRTH: July 21, 1976

PLACE OF BIRTH: Ochiltree Memorial Hospital, Perryton, Texas

FAVORITE RECORD STORE: The Record Rack, Amarillo, Texas

SECOND-FAVORITE RECORD STORE: Waterloo Records, Austin, Texas

THIRD-FAVORITE RECORD STORE:
Amoeba Records, Hollywood, Calla-forny

FOURTH-FAVORITE RECORD STORE: Cheapo’s, Austin, Texas

FIRST CASSETTE I EVER BOUGHT: Culture Club’s Colour by Numbers
(February 1984, at the old T G & Y in Borger, Texas)

LAST CASSETTE I EVER BOUGHT: Joan Osborne’s Relish
(October 1995, at the Circuit City on Brodie Lane in Austin, Texas)

FIRST CD I EVER BOUGHT: Tori Amos’ Under the Pink/More Pink
(on my 19th birthday at the Best Buy on Loop 1 South in Austin, Texas)

MOST RECENT CD I BOUGHT: The Weepies’ Hideaway
(April 2008, at the Best Buy at 183 and 360 in Austin, Texas)

FAVORITE FLEETWOOD MAC SONG SUNG BY STEVIE NICKS:
1997’s “Silver Springs” (close second: 1983’s “Gypsy”)

FAVORITE FLEETWOOD MAC SONG NOT SUNG BY STEVIE NICKS:
1987’s “Little Lies” (close second: 1987’s “Everywhere,”
both sung by Christine McVie)

FAVORITE FLEETWOOD MAC SONG SUNG BY
NEITHER STEVIE NOR CHRISTINE: pshaw! (all joking aside,
I’m quite partial to 1976’s “Second Hand News,” sung primarily by Lindsay)

MY VOTE FOR COOLEST WOMAN ALIVE: Carly Simon

FAVORITE CARLY SIMON SONG FROM THIS DECADE: 2000’s “Our Affair”

FAVORITE CARLY SIMON SONG FROM LAST DECADE:
1997’s “Two Little Sisters”

FAVORITE CARLY SIMON SONG FROM THE DECADE BEFORE THAT:
1986’s “Coming Around Again”

FAVORITE CARLY SIMON SONG FROM THE DECADE BEFORE THAT:
1972’s “You’re So Vain”

FAVORITE JAMES TAYLOR SONG THAT WAS A HIT: 1970’s “Fire and Rain”

FAVORITE JAMES TAYLOR SONG THAT WASN’T A HIT:
1993’s “Down in the Hole”

FAVORITE JAMES TAYLOR COVER: Edwin McCain’s raucous 1997 take on “(I’ve Got to Stop) Thinkin’ ‘Bout That”

FAVORITE COVER BY JAMES TAYLOR:
that sweet 1985 reading of Buddy Holly’s “Everyday”

BEST YEAR FOR MUSIC EVER (ever meaning “in my lifetime”): 1984

WORST YEAR FOR MUSIC EVER (ditto): 1995

WORST SONG FROM 1984:
Rockwell’s atrocious “Somebody’s Watching Me”

BEST SONG FROM 1995:
Todd Terry’s pulse-pounding remix of Everything But the Girl’s “Missing”

BEST DAVID GRAY ALBUM:
2002’s spare and devastating A New Day at Midnight

BEST DAVID GRAY SONG: depends solely on your mood —

are you in the mood
to have your very heart wrenched
right out of your chest?

— “This Year’s Love” (from White Ladder)
— “Shine” (from A Century Ends)

are you in the mood
to shake your ass?

— “Babylon” (from Ladder)
— “Hospital Food” (from Life in Slow Motion)

are you in the mood
to speed down a desolate highway
singing at the top o’ your lungs?

— “Late Night Radio” (from Sell, Sell, Sell)
— “Kangaroo” (from Midnight)

FAVORITE TORI AMOS B-SIDE (under three minutes):
1998’s “Beulah Land”

FAVORITE TORI AMOS B-SIDE (over three minutes): 1996’s “Alamo”

SO GOOD IT TRANSCENDS THE B-SIDE LABEL:
Amos’ whip-smart 1994 cover of Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You”

FAVORITE “American Idol” WINNER:
Carrie Underwood, equal parts brazen and beauteous (season three)

FAVORITE “American Idol” REJECT:
the fearlessly fierce Kimberley Locke (season two)

FAVORITE SONG FROM AN “American Idol” ALUMNUS:
Kelly Clarkson’s sensationally raw “Low” (from her debut album Thankful)

FAVORITE BOOK (fiction):
Wally Lamb’s sprawling epic I Know This Much is True

FAVORITE BOOK (non-fiction):
Randy Shilts’ And the Band Played On, a chilling,
rebellious chronicle of the opening years of this country’s AIDS epidemic

FAVORITE SCENE FROM A BOOK: hands down, that miraculous
snowstorm scene (pp. 63-69) in Christopher Rice’s A Density of Souls

FAVORITE FINAL SCENE FROM A BOOK: the last few beats of Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, as the guy finds the mud-encrusted charm bracelet while Susie watches from heaven, in peace at last

FAVORITE AUTHOR: the peerless Jay McInerney

FAVORITE SCENE FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
the not-quite-sober Jeff, wearing only his whale-print boxers,
tries to get his picture taken for the dust jacket of his book
(from Brightness Falls, pp. 53-57)

SECOND FAVORITE SCENE FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
Will and Lollie, in their own fascinating ways, each try to dissuade
Patrick from getting married when they crash the rehearsal dinner
(from The Last of the Savages, pp. 238-244)

THIRD FAVORITE SCENE FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
Jamie has a final conversation with his dying mother
(from Bright Lights, Big City, pp. 164-169)

FAVORITE LINE(s) FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
“What really worries me is the combination of Becca and Didi. When those two get together, it’s like – what were the two things you were never supposed to mix in chemistry class or you’d, like, blow up the whole school? You know what I mean. Not oil and water – something else. So much for my education. Blanks that never got filled in. None of the above. Story of my life.”
(from the uproarious Story of My Life, page 18)

SECOND FAVORITE LINE FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.”
(the first line from The Last of the Savages, page 3)

THIRD FAVORITE LINE(s) FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
“Will wanted to liberate us; no doubt he’d inherited a taste for lost causes. Yet there have been times – swaying at his side backstage in Boston; racing the wrong way down a predawn street in Memphis; cruising with the top down across the hot skillet of the Mississippi Delta in search of the blues – when I knew, at least for a little while, what it was like to be free.”
(the final paragraph from The Last of the Savages, page 271)

FOURTH FAVORITE LINE(s) FROM A JAY McINERNEY BOOK:
“‘Have you ever noticed that all the good words start with D? D and L.'”
(dialogue from Bright Lights, Big City, page 7)

OVERRATED: The Silence of the Lambs (the book)

UNDERRATED: Bright Lights, Big City (the film)

FAVORITE AUSTIN MOVIE THEATRE: the old Westgate 8

SINCE THEY TORE THAT ONE DOWN YEARS AGO: the old Arbor 8

SINCE THAT ONE’S NOW A CHEESECAKE FACTORY:
the Alamo Drafthouse at Lake Creek

MONDAY’S JUST NOT MONDAY WITHOUT: the new TV Guide

FAVORITE TV SHOW: “Designing Women”

FUNNIEST “DW” EPISODE: the one where Julia got her head
stuck in the famous “Abbott banister” at the governor’s mansion

SECOND FUNNIEST “DW” EPISODE: the one where the ladies went
to buy a new van after the old one broke down on the freeway

FUNNIEST “DW” MOMENT: Julia loses her cool while on
forced jury duty and blasts the flippant panelists for their indifference

SECOND FUNNIEST “DW” MOMENT: Julia, on the phone trying to find a place in Atlanta to “rent a van after five in the evening,” finally gives up and tells the man, “Thank you very much, you’ve been no help at all.” (A single line, delivered with hilariously venomous sass by the peerless Dixie Carter.)

FAVORITE “West Wing” MOMENT: “Isaac and Ishmael,” Aaron Sorkin’s widely scorned but undeniably powerful response to the 9-11 terrorist attacks

FAVORITE “Queer As Folk” MOMENT:
Brian shows up at Justin’s prom after all, from the first season finale

FAVORITE “Felicity” MOMENT: Felicity gets in that blasted cab, and makes us wait three torture-filled months to find out whether she decided to go to Berlin with Noel or to Palo Alto with Ben, from the first season finale

FAVORITE “Dawson’s Creek” MOMENT: the riveting twelve-minute scene that closes the fourth season finale, in which Joey and Dawson try to say goodbye to each other

FAVORITE “Family Ties” MOMENT: Jennifer invites the “cool crowd” to her birthday party, which turns into a hilarious trainwreck

FAVORITE “Cheers” MOMENT: Sam pretends to be
a world-famous cardiologist in order to trump Diane
and get seats at a super-exclusive restaurant.

(Diane: “He’s having chest pains, Doctor!”
Sam: “Well, why don’t you… time them, and…
see how far apart they are?”)

FAVORITE “Friends” MOMENT:
isn’t the prom video everybody’s fave “Friends” moment?

(a close second:
Joey: “Man, it is so hard to shop for girls!”
Chandler: “Yes, it is… at Office Max!”)

FAVORITE “Matlock” MOMENT: the climactic courtroom scene (and, seriously, weren’t they all?!) in which Ben proves that Leann Hunley killed the talk show host, by turning the counter on the VCR upside down?
(Remember, if you will, that the digital counter said “337” when turned right-side-up, and spelled out “L-E-E” when flipped. That episode rocked my entire existence, pathetic as that sounds.)

FAVORITE “Knots Landing” MOMENT: two, actually: Constance McCashin’s final episode, in which the cul-de-sac gathers at the Sumner Ranch for Laura’s funeral, which culminates in a series of videotaped messages left behind by Laura herself; and also, Karen figures out that Jill murdered herself and tried to frame Gary for the crime.

FAVORITE “Seinfeld” MOMENT: “The Jimmy,”
a half-hour, punch-line-a-second laugh riot

FAVORITE “Real World” MOMENT: the entire Chicago season, but if I had to pick one moment, the scene where Chris took Kyle to his AA meeting

FAVORITE “Friday Night Lights” MOMENT: either of them desperately wracked with uncertainty and insecurity, Coach Taylor takes his unsteady new quarterback Saracen out to an empty football field late one night and tries to convince the kid (and, perhaps more importantly, himself) that he is capable of greatness.

FAVORITE TRASHY MELISSA GILBERT TV-MOVIE: Joshua’s Heart

FAVORITE TRASHY VALERIE BERTINELLI TV-MOVIE: Rockabye

FAVORITE TRASHY MEREDITH BAXTER TV-MOVIE: For the Love of Aaron
(though my best friend Sherry Ann and I got an
unnaturally unhealthy kick out of My Breast)

SOMETHING I GENERALLY LOVE: kitchen gadget infomercials

SOMETHING I GENERALLY DEPLORE: hair care infomercials

SOMETHING I ALWAYS LOVE: infomercials starring
any combination of the following folks: Chef Tony – Ron Popeil –
Nancy Nelson – the woeful Jenilee Harrison

SOMETHING I ALWAYS DEPLORE:
those annoying-ass cash flow business infomercials

FAVORITE MOVIE CRITIC: Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

FAVORITE TELEVISION CRITIC: Matt Roush, TV Guide
(and formerly, triumphantly, of USA Today)

FAVORITE MUSIC CRITIC: Rob Sheffield, Rolling Stone

A RANDOM PET PEEVE: please-pay-first gas stations

FAVORITE CAKE: sad, I know, but plain ol’ Betty Crocker yellow,
with chocolate icing (though my Aunt Dora’s red velvet cake
comes in a close second, and A’s version of my Aunt Dora’s
pumpkin cake will steal your breath)

FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Blue Bell cookies and cream

FAVORITE COOKIE: that multi-colored sugar cookie from the Great American Cookie Co. (A close second: SuperTarget’s dreamy chocolate chip cookies)

FAVORITE PIZZA: half hamburger, half Canadian bacon,
extra cheese, thick crust (yep, nice and healthy)

FAVORITE MEXICAN FOOD: can’t beat a great cheese enchilada

FAVORITE ITALIAN FOOD: yeah, like spaghetti’s not gonna win!

FAVORITE AMERICAN FOOD: Ham. Burg. Urr.

FAVORITE FAST FOOD: Wendy’s’ Big Bacon Classic,
a heart-stopping slab of heaven

SECOND FAVORITE FAST FOOD: Boston Market’s mac and cheese

THIRD FAVORITE FAST FOOD: Chick-fil-A’s
Chargrilled Chicken Club sandwich, with those freaky waffle fries
and an extra helping of their divine honey barbecue sauce

ANOTHER RANDOM PET PEEVE: people who put red, big-as-Buicks kidney beans in an otherwise perfectly fine pot of chili (Love ya, Mom!)

FAVORITE CANDY BAR: M&M Kudos

IF THAT CAN’T BE FOUND: Snickers Kudos

AND IF THAT CAN’T BE FOUND: umm… Twix, caramel

AND IF THAT CAN’T BE FOUND: oooh, then I’m nine shades of hacked

FAVORITE SODA: Coke, baby.

BEST PLACE ON EARTH TO GET A FOUNTAIN COKE:
McDonald’s, at the “Y” in Oak Hill, Texas

BEST PLACE ON EARTH TO GET A FOUNTAIN CHERRY COKE:
Allsups, Stinnett, Texas

FAVORITE CASINO GAME: roulette (although, I know from personal experience just how heavy $96.80 worth of nickels can be, and how
thrilling the sound of a slot machine spitting them out at you can also be)

FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Celebrity Taboo (not to brag or anything…
but my team, no matter who is on it, never loses this game)

FAVORITE JOKE: get me to tell you the one about Sam Johnson

ANOTHER RANDOM PET PEEVE: carelessly strewn apostrophes

FIRST GIRL I EVER HAD A CRUSH ON: Elena Lopez, 4^th grade

FIRST BOY I EVER HAD A CRUSH ON: Craig Doughten, 10^th grade

WHICH ONE MADE MORE OF AN IMPACT: Elena who?

names dropped with reckless abandon: "A Case of You", "American Idol", "Designing Women", "Friday Night Lights", "Knots Landing", A, Aaron Sorkin, Alice Sebold, Amoeba, Carly Simon, Cheapo's, Christopher Rice, Constance McCashin, Culture Club, David Gray, Dixie Carter, Edwin McCain, Everything But the Girl, Fleetwood Mac, James Taylor, Jay McInerney, Joan Osborne, Joni Mitchell, Kelly Clarkson, quotable, Rob Sheffield, Ron Popeil, Sherry Ann, Stevie Nicks, The Record Rack, The Weepies, Tori Amos, Waterloo